Conflict Resolution

A guide for handling conflicts with individuals. The goal is resolution, not punishment.

Step 1: Pause & Self-Attune (within 24 hours)

For the person feeling activated or impacted.

Take time to slow down and reflect before acting.

• Ask yourself: What am I feeling? What is the impact on me? What do I need?
• Journaling, movement, nature time, or support (by request) is encouraged
• Avoid venting to uninvolved parties or spreading the charge

Step 2: Direct Communication (within 48 hours)

With the person directly involved.

Reach out with the intention to clear tension or misunderstanding.

• Speak in “I” statements: “I felt…”, “My experience was…”
• Listen as much as you speak — be willing to hear their perspective fully
• Both parties should name what resolution or next step would feel complete

Step 3: Peer Mediation / Facilitated Dyad

If no resolution has occurred.

Invite a trusted third party to witness and hold space neutrally.

• This person should not take sides or interpret — only reflect, anchor, and help clarify
• If more structure is needed, use the Reflect & Repair Template below
• Agreements made here are honored as binding for both parties

Step 4: Community-Level Circle

If the conflict affects multiple people or remains unresolved.

Bring the situation to the wider group in a structured space.

• This is not a venting session — all shares must be framed in terms of needs, impacts, and potential collective implications
• A facilitator or outside therapist may be invited to support clarity and accountability
• The goal is resolution, not punishment — but decisions made here may include restorative tasks, boundaries, or temporary space if needed

Do not escalate prematurely

Steps 1-3 must be attempted in good faith first.

Ongoing Emotional Hygiene Practices

• Weekly “Therapy Thursdays” allow short emotional shares and prevent build-up (circle format, participation is optional)
• Members may request a follow-up talk if they realize they mishandled something after the fact
• Guests are oriented to this process upon arrival and agree to abide by its spirit

Consequences of Avoidance or Repetition

Unaddressed or repeatedly mishandled conflict erodes the collective field.

• If a pattern of avoidance, reactivity, or blame is noticed, the group may initiate a small review circle (2-3 trusted members) to support reflection
• This is protective rather than punitive — for both the individual and the group
• The council can offer support, reflection, or propose temporary adjustments to restore balance (e.g. pauses in certain roles, agreements for reflection)

---

Reflect & Repair Template

A shared tool for individual reflection, conflict resolution, or mediation sessions within the community. This form can be used:

• Alone, as part of Step 1 (self-reflection)
• In Step 3, during mediation or facilitated repair
• As a group tool in Step 4, if needed

It is not a complaint form — it is a living practice in honesty, repair, and shared responsibility.

1. What happened?

Briefly describe the moment, event, or dynamic that activated something in you. Focus on facts, not interpretations.

“What did I see/hear/experience?“

2. What arose in my system?

What body-level signals, emotions, or protective responses surfaced? Name your felt experience and emotional response.

“How did I feel and where do I feel it?” / “What story did I make about it?“

3. What need or value felt unmet?

Connect your reaction to a core need, value, or collective agreement.

“Which of my needs, boundaries, or values were affected?“

4. What could I have done differently?

(Only fill out if ready.) Name your own part, no matter how small — even if your part was silence or avoidance.

“Where did I collapse, react, or abandon myself or the situation?“

5. What do I want now for closure or repair?

List a clear request, desire, or outcome. It might be a conversation, a new agreement, a witnessing, a shared action, or space.

“What would make me feel complete, seen, or safe again?“

6. What am I committed to learning or practicing?

This is where transformation happens. Be honest and humble.

“What do I want to embody more of?”